just to corrin

I saw you had this linked on your instagram and I don't think anyone else will see this, I don't want to directly message you as I know I would come back to respond so I am typing this here, Once I am finished I will block this site with my wifi settings and scribble out the login on the back of the router so if I ever want to unblock this I would have to ring my ISP, which I clearly will not do, I will not come back to this thread to respond to anything, I might possibly read though. I decided to type this as I feel guilty everywhere I go, I went in tesco the other day and those touristy flambards leaflets reminded me of you as we went there, Thanks for showing me the free way in, Our friendship was good while it lasted. Sorry for driving you to mine after a heavy night out, By the way, Not sure how you felt about that but I did not mean to do that.

I want to make it clear that I do not hate you at all, I never did, You are a good person and I don't want to upset you but I want you to know the reasons behind everything, Also, Please stop spamming my phone.

When we sat on the roof of that shitty falling apart building I did some things I had never done before which I do think could have confused you about what we are, I did not get hypothermia, I had a fucking ski jacket on, I don't want you thinking that you almost gave me frostbite or something sat up there for so long with you I just felt very sick with confusion the day after and drank until I forgot, I ended up telling my girlfriend which I did not want to do but that made her break up with me so you kind of ruined things for me, This is not your fault I just wish I never met you so I wouldn't experiment like I did.

Also, Tell your roommate to fuck off, That asshole threatened to kill me and you did nothing about that.

It just turned 3:24 am, Did you infect me with your insomnia?

About the time I drove you all the way to falmouth at god knows when, I did not mean to hurt you.

The reason why we stayed over was because my gf, now ex thanks to you, got kicked out and my live in landlord has a strict "no guests" rule and you were an exception that one night.

Yes, I did leave you at a bus stop half an hour away from where you live at night, That was a very twatty thing for me to do, I had to leave you and I did not want to face the ride to your flat with you as it would just be a deafening silence.

I am going to type out why I left you and I ask for a few things, Don't blame yourself, Don't blame me, Don't hurt yourself and stay alive FFS.

All the intimate experiences we shared were just me having fun, I share no feelings towards you but at the time I simply wanted to test that.

If I did share feelings towards you this would not work at all, You are not a stable person, We only started talking because we were stressed out for similar reasons and I have healed from those and you clearly are not, You are addicted to drugs, starving, booze, pretty much any substance you can find and going straight to the wrists, you don't even bother to hide that, I don't want you dragging me into problems of yours as you clearly can't even hide them from someone you just met, You try, Sure, but you are still very unhealthy and I hope you seek professional help, Stop spending money on drugs and get fucking therapy.

And now for the most important thing that you probably missed : I'm not gay, I mean it, I don't like you the way I acted.

Do not contact me ever again and if we ever see each other outside I do not want you to speak to me.

Love someone that actually loves you back, I can't satisfy you anyway.

Goodbye and I hope life treats you well.